Things will be what they will be

Sometimes there are things that you cannot change. There is nothing that you can do about it. Sooner or later things will be put into place and all come together, maybe not in the way you expected but in a way that was meant to be.  It may not be the easiest path to get there but you will get there no matter what. Right now i am feeling very confused. About a lot of things. College,school, family, friends, myself, faith,..everything! I jut am not sure where i stand anymore. Im not sure what i am suppose to be doing. Where i am suppose to be going. I feel like this summer is going to be a good time for me. Im ready for a break. I need a break from drama from stress and just to relax and have fun and have no worries. I wish things we just easier to understand sometimes. I wish i literally could see the answers right in front of my face instead of having to decide what i am suppose to do and what is right. Also i am scared.. I have lately gotten a feeling of being scare to grow up. I use to be excited to grow up and start my life on my own and be out in the real world. But now things have changed. I dont want to grow up. Seeing all the seniors b done with school makes me nervous. I like it because now i am the oldest but i do not like it because i know i will bn their spot in a year from now. I want to stay in high school forever, not literally forever but you know what i mean. It is somewhere where all my decisions are pretty much made for me. I think im scared because i dont want to make a choice on my own and have it be the wrong one. And have it be a big decision and the choice i choose be one that i cannot change. One that i cannot fix. And one that i cannot go back and change or get a redo and go back and pick the other one. I dont know about you but this really scares me. I just hope things change soon because i dont like the way that things are now. I need things to fall into place soon!